Divorce should not necessarily be the last choice to ending a marriage that you are no longer interested in. You need to be aware that this is a choice that will bring about a major adjustment in your life and that of your kids if you have a few. As a result, you must not consider this type of decision with lightheartedness. You should give it the best attention it deserves. Also, filling for a divorce is not something that can be done within hours. It calls for countless process and this means that you must be clear in your mind that you are inclined to do this before initiating the process.
Once you have located several potential candidates, set up a time to meet briefly with each of them, to determine the best fit for your needs. If you can’t meet with the lawyer directly, ask to visit her office. Take note of how the staff responds to you, as you will most likely be dealing with them for a good part of the divorce process. Are they pleasant and courteous? Do they seem helpful? Are they reasonably well-organized and knowledgeable? When you meet with the attorney, find out how much experience he has by asking about the number of divorce cases he has worked on. This is particularly important in cases that involve a significant amount of property or other assets, and in cases where custody of the children might be contested.
Put some distance between the time of your discovery and the time you meet with a Pasadena Child Support for that first consultation. It takes time to deal emotionally with your discovery of your spouse’s unfaithfulness so that you can consider your choices. These choices may include deciding whether you want to try a reconciliation or head straight to the courthouse. Divorce, or family law, attorneys often charge non-refundable retainers (or deposits), which means if you change your mind after you hire the lawyer to begin working on your divorce so that you can try a reconciliation, you will not receive a refund of that money. And beware the attorney who tells you he or she will take your spouse to the cleaners—will make him pay—since that may not turn out to be the case.
Even if you think someone is perfect for you, things could still go wrong. For the sake of anyone in a failing marriage, we should all hope that the divorce can at least be amicable, but that is not always the case. Once you and your partner have made the decision to get a divorce, it is important to talk through every detail together, if you can. The last thing you want is for someone else to make the decisions for you. This could only lead to more issues between the two of you.
Communication. You can communicate with your attorney by email, which is becoming more the rule than the exception. Do not send an email every hour or with every thought. I now find that I spend hours every day going through emails with some clients emailing me several times a day. This can prove very expensive. Again, cover several issues or questions at once. Do not abuse email.
This divorce decree will determine each parties part in the proceeding. This will include determining if the property will have to be sold, child custody, and if one spouse is going to have to pay the other on a set amount of time to support them.
Stop defending yourself. You might be correct in what you’re saying but quit trying to convince them of that. Listen to what they’re saying with an open mind and find out which parts are true. Agree with those parts. Don’t do this in a patronizing, ‘yes woman’ or ‘yes man’ kind of way. Be sincere. In this way you’ll be modeling what you’d like for them to do.
This is one of the most important situations in your life. It is scary, agonizing, and especially if it is something that has been forced upon you by an unexpected divorce by your spouse, a horrible experience. You are also going to have many questions. This is your life. Your questions matter and they are important to you. No matter how you communicate with your attorney, whether by email, phone, fax or snail-mail, these all deserve a response from your attorney. It is important to take care of yourself, not only legally, but also emotionally and give yourself time to breathe and make sure you are taking care of your medical and physical needs.